


The Lightning Strike

by bluemermaid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/F, Post-Canon, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3402350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaid/pseuds/bluemermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marietta lives her life wondering, just hoping for the next lightning strike.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lightning Strike

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Ingrid Michaelson song "Corner of Your Heart."

*****

His name was Daniel. Marietta met him for the first time about a month before he proposed, when things were still easy and hopeful. "He's boring," she said, after he'd gone, when it was just the two of them again, as it always went.

"I think he's wonderful," Cho said, smiling in that lovely way she had, as though everything were perfectly fine and nothing could ever go wrong in the world. 

"He's a Muggle," said Marietta, who couldn't care less about somebody's blood. It was something to say.

"Well, yes," said Cho, frowning slightly, "but I think I need that right now, you know? It makes things so much simpler. There isn't any history. Do you understand, Mari? I so hoped you'd understand. You always do."

Marietta hated history, too. She hated it for the way it was always creeping up behind her, casting shadows on perfectly nice days like this one, in which she'd thought she was only going to be meeting Cho for lunch and not her boyfriend. She hated it for the way it sometimes seemed to leap out at her from the mirror, when her scars looked darker than usual and her eyes had that haunted dimness that came around now and again. She hated it for the way Cho always brought up the wrong pieces of it, the man-shaped holes in her life. Marietta hated history, too.

"I do understand," she said.

And Cho smiled ignorantly, as she always did. "I knew you would," she gushed, "and he's so nice, isn't he?"

Marietta had never felt nice. Maybe that was the whole problem. But it was all right, because Cho had been with blokes before, and it had never ended very well. Marietta would be there to pick up the pieces once again, to fill the new hole in Cho's heart. 

And then the next month happened.

*****

_The first time they kissed:_

_Marietta was holding Cho close, her heart racing as she smoothed down Cho's silky soft hair, as she cradled Cho's firm body against her. "It's all right," she said quietly, whispering._

_And that thundering heartbeat froze briefly, as Cho's response spilled hot and angry against Marietta's skin: "I wish I could just give boys up altogether."_

_"Me too," Marietta found herself saying, and lost herself in fever dreams, as Cho lifted her head and looked at her. There was a heat spreading through Marietta's body, burning her face and neck and hands, and Cho's eyes bore so deeply into hers, a connection sizzling between them. It was so frustratingly slow, the way Marietta leaned in and pressed her lips to Cho's, the burst of pain and pleasure that clutched at Marietta's heart. Cho kissed her back, the both of them gasping into one another. It only lasted a moment, but Marietta would revisit that moment time and time again, that one brief moment, the lightning strike._

_"I'm sorry," Cho said after, her voice choking on tears as she slipped away, and Marietta let her go, with her heart resuming its thunderous beat, pounding in her chest as though it longed to escape the cage of Marietta's chest and chase Cho Chang across the room. Marietta let her go, thinking that this was only the beginning, that tomorrow would bring more kisses and the start of something incredible, something she'd been desperately, fervently, secretly wishing for since her fourth year._

_Things were going to be different now; Cho would wake up and crawl into Marietta's bed, and they would place their hands and lips on one another, and Marietta would smile and be happy and Cho would fall in love with her, and whatever happened after that would be all right, because they'd be together and they would share everything, everything, everything._

*****

But Cho had woken up the next day pretending nothing had ever happened, and only looked away whenever Marietta opened her mouth to speak. And Marietta had felt lucky to even have Cho as a friend at all, the only person who was able to see past the sneak, and so she'd never said anything at all.

And that was the real problem, wasn't it? Marietta had never said anything. But she'd always thought it was a thing that hadn't needed to be said. It was a thing that was right out there in the open, this tangible force between them that couldn't possibly be missed, and couldn't possibly be described with simple English words. It needed a spell, if anything; it needed a burst of electric magic, to light the sky with its might and set fire to the world. Marietta ought to have learned such a spell in school, but she hadn't. There was no Magical Romance in the Hogwarts curriculum.

Cho Chang, in her sweet perfection, in her delightful laughter and infinite kindness, had never seen it at all, had lived her life in some kind of miserable ignorance, where she went about dashing her head against boys that didn't deserve her, and always getting her heart broken in the process. Marietta had hoped so hard that Michael Corner would be the last, the last wrong choice, the last mistake, the last broken heart. But Cho still wouldn't look at the proper thing.

It was all right, though, because Marietta understood. She was a freak, a weirdo, a sneak that couldn't be trusted, and who would give her heart to such a person? Cho could be her friend and smile at her, could hug her and kiss her when nobody was looking, but to resign oneself to an actual romantic relationship with the girl was out of the question.

And Marietta knew all about distractions. She'd been with a man or two, starting in her last year of Hogwarts and stretching into the after. People whose names she could barely remember now, people who had known from the start what she'd been after and had been all too happy to give it to her. Distraction. Marietta could never fall in love again, not when Cho Chang still existed on this planet. And so she'd taken what she could get and always run away after, when she grew tired of big hands and stubbly chins. It disgusted her.

Cho had to do the same thing, to ignore the frightening back corner of her heart, where Marietta dwelt. Cho had to sit next to a boring Muggle named Daniel and hold his hand and kiss him. Cho had to get married, for the distraction, so she could do what she deemed to be right.

Marietta knew this was a stupid idea, that she was making things up in her need, that there was never going to be any truth to the hope of Cho's secret love for her. But she thought she'd go mad if she didn't say these things to herself.

She was going to go mad either way. But at least she should be able to choose how she did it.

*****

_The second time they kissed:_

_"I got the job!" Cho cried, leaping into Marietta's arms and laughing, laughing so brightly that Marietta felt her own heart unfurl with joy, that Cho could be so happy._

_"That's wonderful," Marietta said warmly, and meant it, truly, because this was something Cho wanted that actually made sense, that was actually right and true. Cho would make a wonderful Healer._

_"Oh, Mari," Cho said, and it was over before Marietta even realized it had happened; Cho kissed her mouth so fiercely that it burned for minutes after. "Oh," Cho said, and giggled, "that was silly of me, wasn't it?"_

_"No," said Marietta, feeling dazed. "Not at all."_

_Cho laughed again and pressed her fingers to her own mouth. "I'm so happy I don't know what I'm doing," she said. "But isn't this wonderful? I'm going to start next Tuesday, and gosh, Mari, I'm so nervous! But excited, too. I'm finally going to be able to really help people. It's incredible."_

_"I know," Marietta replied, smiling, and crossing her arms over her chest in an attempt to stop her frantically fluttering heart, the only ailment in the world that Cho Chang could never heal._

*****

The wedding was lovely, Marietta had to admit. Cho looked more beautiful than she ever had, which was an astonishing accomplishment. Marietta stood beside her as she said her vows to a grinning Daniel, who looked silly and foolish and like he had no right to be there. But this was, of course, only in Marietta's head, and the ceremony ran smooth as clockwork, smooth as magic. When they kissed a flock of birds took flight, and no one admitted to conjuring them; it was a spell born of the union, a spell born simply of love. Marietta felt as though she were going to be sick, and in fact ended up kneeling in the loo shortly thereafter, staring down into the toilet and hoping she could purge these feelings from herself. But nothing came up.

Later, though, Cho danced with Marietta, and hugged her so tightly Marietta thought her heart would burst. "Thank you," Cho said fiercely, and when she pulled back her eyes shone with tears.

"For what?" Marietta asked, dazed as she always was after one of Cho's embraces.

"Just for being here," Cho said, taking Marietta's hands and spinning in a circle, twirling with the soaring music all around them. "For always being here. You're my best friend, Mari."

"Of course I'm always going to be here," Marietta replied, smiling. "You're everything to me."

"Oh, Mari," Cho gushed, and hugged her again.

Marietta kept smiling. How could Cho not love her, at least a little bit, with embraces like that and her voice so soft and reverent? How could Cho not love her, as they danced three songs together, with laughter loud and bright, like it was old times back in Ravenclaw Tower again? How could she not? Marietta felt lighter than air. She'd do anything for Cho, absolutely anything.

Cho left the hall with her arm around her husband, but she was looking at Marietta as she went.

*****

_The third time they kissed:_

_It was four days before the wedding, and Cho was crying hard into a handkerchief, her mascara running down her cheeks. "I'm so scared. What if he isn't right for me? What if I'm doing the wrong thing?"_

_"You have to do what your heart tells you," Marietta said, rubbing Cho's shoulder._

_"But I don't know," she gasped. "I don't know what my heart truly wants." Cho stared down at her lap and sniffled, her hands twisting the handkerchief into knots. "I don't know if I've ever known anything."_

_"Cho," said Marietta, and Cho looked at her, and Marietta felt her heart clench up again, felt her insides heat up and boil. It was always like that, when they really looked at one another, and Marietta had a sudden and powerful flash back to that fateful night in the tower, the first time they kissed. Her eyes widened. "What do you want?" Her voice was quiet._

_"I don't know," Cho replied, just as quietly, and she slowly slipped a hand into Marietta's lap, clutching Marietta's fingers. "Tell me what to do, Mari. Please."_

_Marietta felt a great rush of frustration and pain force its way out of her throat. "Kiss me," she said, and a sharpness pierced her heart._

_Cho did as she asked. The kiss was soft and gentle and terrifying. After, Cho leaned back and swallowed, her eyes opening wide with fright. "That wasn't it," she said._

_"What?" Marietta demanded, her voice suddenly loud, bursting like a gunshot, like a stunning spell._

_Cho shook her head, and her hair shimmered around her face. Marietta longed to touch that hair, to pull Cho closer by it, to kiss Cho's lips and neck and breasts and tear the dress off her. But she didn't do any of those things; she simply watched in horror as Cho spoke, her voice shaky. "That wasn't it, Mari. It's Daniel. I love him."_

_"Well, fine, then," said Marietta, leaning back in her seat and struggling to breathe. "So now you know."_

_"Thank you," said Cho, and she actually sounded like she meant it, which just infuriated Marietta. "I'm sorry."_

_"Don't be," said Marietta. "I'm here to help."_

*****

Marietta moved into a tiny flat in a shitty part of some lonely Muggle town, simply because it was closer to Cho. Marietta broke her latest suitor's heart and left him back in her old neighborhood, with his useless dreams of saving the girl in love with another. He was never going to save her, and Marietta couldn't bear to see him try anymore. So she'd left him. It was for the best.

Marietta lay in a narrow bed every night staring up at the ceiling, wondering what Cho was doing. She pictured herself sleeping in Cho's bedroom, on the floor, staring up at the two of them in their gigantic wedding bed. She pictured Daniel with his hands on Cho, his undeserving grip, and she pictured Cho beneath him, with her eyes open and her lips pursed, doing whatever she had to do, and hopefully enjoying it, at least a little bit. Marietta wasn't so cruel as to wish Cho discomfort, however much she wanted to rip her from that bed.

Marietta went to work at St. Mungo's every day, sitting behind the Inquiries desk and directing people to their proper floors. She didn't have the patience to be a full-fledged Healer, but she could help people as best she could. The highlight, of course, was that Cho was a full-fledged Healer. They'd have lunch together, with Cho gushing about her latest cases and how happy she was to be curing magical maladies. She'd talk about Daniel, too, but Marietta never listened to those parts. She watched Cho's lips move and wonder when she'd get to kiss them again.

Marietta lived her life wondering, moving through her days like it was all just one long dream, and one day she would wake up and Cho would be there beside her. It was foolish, it was useless, to live for someone who was married to another. Marietta knew that, but she also still felt the pull, the connection, the heat that flared up every time they truly looked at one another. There was still a corner of Cho's heart that belonged solely to Marietta, a corner that lay hidden behind Cho's noble need to be good, to do what was right, to avoid scandal and deviance. Girls didn't kiss girls and especially not girls like Marietta; it was as simple as that. Or so Marietta told herself.

Marietta wasn't happy, but she could never fall in love again, not when Cho Chang still existed on this planet. And so she lived for that one moment of Cho's day, when they'd sit down to lunch together and look at one another. Marietta would do anything to stay in that corner of Cho's heart, and she lived just hoping for the fourth time they would kiss, the next lightning strike.


End file.
